The Power of Prayer


Let me start by saying that I know this will sound like I think I got it goin’ on. I know. But that is exactly why I have to tell you about it. Sometimes the things that seem the craziest are the very stories we keep to ourselves. And that is the very moment when the enemy wins.  When we don’t share our ‘God winks’, we stiffle the glory that God deserves. The glory that makes those moments even possible.

It hasn’t rained here in my sweet-home Alabama town in many weeks.  We are in a burn ban drought emergency situation.  That is a bit unusual for this neck of the woods.  My house has settled so badly that there is a very large crack in our foundation that will need some serious attention.  Many homes in our neighborhood are experiencing the same thing.

My husband and I were talking about the situation last night and as we were getting ready to go to sleep I said aloud,

“I wish it would rain.”

That’s when the Spirit reminded me that wishing and praying are two totally different things.  One works. The other doesn’t.

I realized I had not prayed about the situation at all.  Not even once had I asked God for rain. So I took a moment and silently prayed for some rain.


This is the part where you might think that I am a bit full of myself.  At the very least you might label me a Jesus freak, but I am ok with that one!

I was in the bathroom getting ready for church this morning when my husband came in to tell me that it was raining. Rain was not in the forecast for days! Zero percent chance!

Unless of course you prayed for some rain. Because God is in the business of answering prayers.

Now, it didn’t rain for hours and it wasn’t a gully washer. It was just enough for people to notice, puddle up and for me to be           awe-inspired by my God while He taught me a lesson about prayer. Which is exactly His point!

Have farmers been praying for rain for weeks? No doubt!

Are their prayers being unanswered? No.

I’m here to tell you that God still answers prayers every single day. Prayers for health and healing. Prayers for mended relationships and healthier finances. Prayers for your children to grow up and thrive. He answers each one, every single one, for our good and for His glory in His time.

I don’t know why He is allowing a drought in my region.  I don’t know what He is accomplishing through it.  But I do know it’s for the good of all who know Him.  And He’s teaching us all something through it if we will just pray and listen.

I also know that as crazy as His immediate response to my simple prayer for rain sounds, if I keep silent on my glimpse of His provision today and how He answered my prayer, and how He hears even me. Sinful, hurting, disobedient little me, the lesson He is trying to teach me about prayer will be lost and His glory won’t shine.

So, thank you, Lord for hearing my prayer and for sending the rains to replenish the earth.

“If you believe, you will recieve whatever you ask for in prayer.” Matthew 21:22

How has God shown you He’s listening lately? I’d love to hear from you. Comment below if you’d like to share.


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Like Sisters Do


Sisters. I never had one.

When we found out I was pregnant with our second daughter I was overjoyed with the inevitable bond that would form between our girls. They’d have a best friend for life!  Our youngest would look up to our oldest, always asking for advice. Our oldest would relish in mentoring and helping our youngest. I envisioned late night secret swapping, hair and nail parties, closet sharing and lots and lots of giggles. You know, all the stuff sisters do. All the stuff I never had growing up with two brothers.

I love my girls.  They are my world. But they never really did anything I dreamed of sisters doing. At least nothing I ever dreamed of doing with the sister I never had. They are opposites in every way you can imagine and there has not been much secret swapping. They seem to enjoy screaming matches much more. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them do each others hair, unless you count the time my oldest gave my youngest a haircut when they were toddlers.

I know they love each other, but I wouldn’t call them friends. They don’t share much of anything.

The other night my husband and I had the rare occasion to have our youngest alone for a little while.  It was right after church services and we were asking her about the topic she had discussed in class.  She was a bit confused because she said that she was supposed to share her testimony, but she didn’t think she had one.  I told her that everyone, even non-Christians, have a testimony. It’s the story of what you did with the news of Christ. Did you accept Him and decide to follow Him? Why or why not? How have you seen His work in your life?

She was still a little baffled and said she didn’t know why or why not to any of that. So I asked her why she had wanted to be baptised when she was younger.

“Because my sister was.”

Not exactly the answer I was hoping for, but glad she finally wanted to be like her sister in some way. However, it really concerned me that maybe she never really understood her own salvation or the ways in which God has been working in her little life. But I didn’t question her. I didn’t pry or freak out. After all, salvation is not up to me. It is a very personal relationship one has with Jesus. Who am I to say that her’s isn’t real just because she can’t ‘label’ it.

I began to pray about it and laid those concerns in the lap of my Savior.

“She’s only 11. I know You have great plans for her. Her leadership skills and determination will take that baby girl into your world and do great things for You one day.  But I am having trouble seeing the fruits of her salvation. How can I gently get her to see them herself? Soften her heart to Your will, Lord and help her see Your work in her life.”

I have yet to be disappointed in Jesus.

It has only been a couple of weeks since that conversation in the car and since I started praying specifically for Christ to show me that my child knew He was a part of her every day life. In the last two days she has told me two different stories of how “God was looking out for me.” I won’t share them, because they are her’s to tell. But I will not deny that my prayers have been answered for God to reveal himself in subtle ways in my child’s life.

I am encouraged by his gentle hand and infallible ways.

How has God been working in your life lately?

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Busy And Nothing More



If you are anything like me you haven’t been able to take any time to breathe lately. School started back and my world pretty much went from 0 to 100 overnight. Like many women I try to balance work, kids, husband and house as best I can.  I am never good enough…in my own mind.

There are days when I just want to give up. There are days when I just can’t see the reason why I do anything. I never advocate being busy. It is not a crown for me at all.  I try to avoid it at all costs, but sometimes despite my best intentions I find myself not being able to keep up.

When I’ve gotten to the point of no return, when I have nothing left to give, that is when I have to take a step back and take a “My day.”  I actually have those days marked on my calendar.  In red.  screenshot_2016-09-23-16-54-53

These are my “do not disturb” days.  These are the days where I can allow myself to say ‘no’ to the favors asked of me. These are the days when pajamas and no chores are permitted.  Many of these days I take myself out to lunch, take a long drive or just sit and read for hours.

I used to feel guilty about taking these days off. After all there is always something that needs to be done. It wasn’t until I realized that there is always something that needs to be done that I let go of my guilt.

If I waited until there was finally nothing left to be done,  I would never be done.

My relationships would suffer. My health would suffer. My work, my kids and my husband would all suffer if I never made the effort to be done. If I never took the time and guarded it with my life, there would always be something more important. I would never find rest.  I could never be at peace. There would never be a time I could find to just be still.

So, today I stole a bit of time and turned it into ‘my day.’ Even though it was a half day of school, I still blocked off my morning to be still. Sure, I threw in a load of laundry, but it’s still in the dryer. I even washed the dog, but she’s super cute and it was nice to spend time with her too. Poor neglected pup.

The amazing thing I find when I take the time to ‘do nothing’ is that is when I learn the most. When I take the time to just sit in the presence of my Jesus it’s much easier to hear His still small voice.  And I told him what I just told you.

“I’m so busy, Lord! I can’t find a way out sometimes! I can’t seem to make ends meet and I never know if I am coming or going. And I am so tired of being reminded of how human I am.  I am so tired of messing up, letting you down and needing You to pick up all my pieces all the time. You must get so tired of me and my failures!”

And my sweet, precious Savior stopped me in the middle of my lamenting,  leaned in and whispered, “Then what was the cross for?”

He always seems to ask me questions that He wants me to find the answers to. Pretty sure it’s just His way of allowing me my free will and growing in wisdom and all that. But sometimes I wish He’d give me a cheat sheet.

So, I thought about His never-ending love for me. How He promised to never leave me nor forsake me. Even when I’m running all over the place trying to get everything done and I leave Him in the dust.

I tried to fathom a love so pure and righteous, even for someone like me.  Especially for someone like me. But all that did was leave me even more baffled, humbled and with tear-stained cheeks.

That’s when I realized that not understanding was exactly the point.  The moment I can understand. The moment I can get it all together. The moment I can no longer be humble is the moment I can no longer be human, made in His image.  A lovely creation made specifically to depend on a holy and mighty God. A servant depending on salvation found only in the everlasting arms of a Master.

A Master willing to die for busy and tired moms like me.

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My Senior Quote and Other Words of Wisdom


“God asks no man whether he will accept life; that is not the choice. You must take it; the only choice is how.”

H.W. Beecher

My oldest daughter just started high school at the same school I graduated from a couple decades ago. So, I’ve been thinking a lot about my high school days these last several weeks. The above quote rests next to my Senior picture in the yearbook for all eternity. When I chose it back then I’m sure I was dreaming of a lucrative career as a blogger. Married. 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. Well, I’m married anyway. And to the boy I was dating when that Senior portrait was taken nonetheless. I suppose some dreams do come true.

Back between the pages of my high school yearbook, I was a Christian. I met Jesus for the first time in my bedroom when I was in middle school so I felt like I had a good idea about who God was and what he wanted me to do with the life he gave me. Go to church. Do a few service projects. Be a good girl. I had all of that covered.  I could live out my life and call upon Jesus whenever I felt like I needed him. Things were good.

But Jesus didn’t die on the cross for your life to be good. Good is decent health, a job to pay the bills and people who love you. Good is average. Midgrade. A ‘B’ at best. Good is the free samples of vanilla ice cream they hand out to everybody.

…I have come that you may have life and have it to the full. John 10:10.

Maybe you have all those good things.  But are you still stressed with too much to do? Do you worry too much about the future? Maybe your job pays the bills but do you still keep striving for more? Discontent?

Do you have some really great people in your life that you ignore too many times or take for granted?

Your health is probably pretty good, but do you take the time for yourself to rest properly, excercise and eat well?

Do you sometimes feel like something is missing?

Maybe that’s because the way you are accepting the life you were given is to try to do things your own way. And that, truly my friend, just goes against the grain of the reason for humanity.  If God created you for the sole purpose of loving you, how in the world can we just sit back and accept life as good? Reading a passage in the Bible here and there. Say a short prayer every now and then. That’s an insult to your Creator.

You were made for a purpose. And yours might be very simple.

Maybe you homeschool your own children and train them up in the way they should go. Or, maybe you work in retail and you shine your light every day to customers who  just want to get high on a good bargain.

Maybe you’re a missionary or a pastor and people seem to put you on a pedastal because of whatever preconceived fabricated human idea that those positions get you closer to God.

Perhaps you spend your days in corporate meetings and make a living handling other people’s money.

All of those man-made positions and ideals are nothing. It doesn’t matter how hard you work, how late you stay up, or how much money you make. It’s all nothing. If you are working for the paycheck and for the praise. None of it matters, unless at the end of the day you acknowledge the One who put you there. Unless you can turn back around with the life you have accepted and open-handedly offer it back to the One who gave it to you, nothing you do matters.

What matters is how intentional you make the life you’ve been given. Are you aware of your purpose to glorify God in everything you do?

So, you have a choice.  I have a choice.  God breathed life into your lungs and gave you life without your consent. He made you without consulting you and made you wonderfully and purposefully.  The only appropriate response is to seek His will in every decision and wish more than anything in the deepest areas of your heart to please the One who gave you life. The One who came to give you life and to have it to the full.

Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him. Colossians 2:6


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The Irrational Dilemma of Being Stuck



When I was about 10 years old I went to the mall with my family. I remember being on the 2nd floor and stopping to peer over the railing down to the main courtyard with my dad. We were waiting for my mom to finish shopping. As I watched the people bustle below me, I pressed my knee between two of the retaining bars as many children often do and I left it there. It was then that my mom came out of the store. But when I tried to pull my knee out from between the bars it wouldn’t budge.

I was stuck.

In my 10-year-old mind I panicked. I frantically started pulling and tugging and twisting around trying anything to get my leg free from its unexpected prison.  When I couldn’t free myself my thoughts escalated into irrational scenarios.  Surely the fire department would need to be called in. Mall managers would yell at this little kid for making such a mess and ban my family forever. And my parents surely would refuse me my allowance for causing them to have to pay for the damage.

My face began to get hot from the embarrassment. There seemed to be thousands of  people walking by. I had no doubt they were thinking that I was so fat and stupid. How else could someone get their leg stuck?  I could already hear the kids at school calling me names when they got a hold of the headline, “Girl Gets Her Fat Knee Stuck at The Mall. Emergency Amputation Performed on Sight.”

Tears started to burn my eyes when my Daddy placed his hands on my shoulders from behind me and calmed me down. He said, “Stop moving. You’re just going to hurt yourself. Extend your leg gently and try to pull it out.”

I argued with him a little bit and told him that it was going to be stuck there forever. There was no way that doing what he suggested was going to work.

“Trust me,” he said calmly.  My daddy was always so calm even in the midst of his daughter suddenly facing leg amputation. Such a good quality. Wish I had more of that.

I did what he said and lo and behold, my knee came out with ease!  It was a little sore, but I was so thankful that the news crew hadn’t arrived yet that I didn’t care.

I looked around expecting a crowd to have gathered behind me to jeer and mock me while I was stuck there feeling so vulnerable.  To my surprise there wasn’t a single person pointing fingers. There wasn’t anyone there making fun of me. But there also wasn’t anyone there feeling sorry for me either. Despite all the lavish delusions that went on in my head, the whole episode had gone unnoticed by everyone except my Father.

Do You Ever Feel Stuck?

I haven’t learned my lesson very well.  My knee isn’t trapped between bars at the mall, but I still feel stuck sometimes. Things I think should have happened by now haven’t.  Things I think I should have overcome by now just seem to keep nagging at me.

It’s easier to let our minds race with damaging and irrational thoughts and let panic overtake us. allowing that leads us to believe we will never get unstuck. All the tugging and twisting trying to free ourselves from unexpected stuck-ness only causes us to hurt ourselves more and remain stuck. And that is exactly what the enemy wants.  You can’t do much to advance the Kingdom if you’re stuck.

Maybe you’ve been stuck deep in debt and you feel like you just might drown.  Or maybe you’ve lost a close relationship you thought you’d have forever and you’re stuck in the hurt and grief. Maybe life happened before you could finish your degree and you are feeling underpaid and underappreciated. It could be that you are stuck in sin or an addiction and you just can’t seem to find your way out.

Are you hurting yourself more by tugging and twisting trying to figure things out on your own? Are you making the situation worse than it actually is by listening to the voices in your head? Or are you being still and listening to the direction of your Father to help you out of your sticky situation?

So How Do I Get Unstuck?

Here’s what I have learned in my years on this planet. Life is sticky. It’s not always easy to wipe away the messes that catch us off guard. In the moment it seems like the pulling and the tugging are the right things to do. But that only hurts us more in the end. If we could just learn to Be Still and listen for our heavenly Father’s instruction on how to get unstuck, we would save ourselves so much heartache.

Ask for a way out. There is no debt, no loss, no sorrow, fear or injury that can leave you stuck forever if you seek His glory through the pain. Even when things seem impossible to overcome your Heavenly Father is waiting there to help you find your way out.

Ask and it shall be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7

Asking for help is easier if you know the person you are asking.  Be still and know… We can’t get to know anyone if we’re constantly on the move. It used to be so hard for me to be still and I am a work in progress with that one. Being still doesn’t mean sitting in a quiet room and not doing anything.  It’s sitting at His feet and seeking His face. It’s wanting the Truth more than anything else and finding peace within that. Being still is bathing in the Word and soaking up what God speaks to you through it. And then trust Him! Get to know your God through prayer and ask Him to reveal ways to become unstuck while you are being still and He may astonish  you!

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Matthew 6:33

For more on how to get unstuck through reading your Bible, click on the Bible verses above or click here.

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When You Miss Out

Photo Credits: Denise Gibbs

I missed the rainbow.  While all of my friends seemed to catch it’s glory, I missed it. I was busy working at my computer before the storm, and I turned it off to avoid a power surge as it approached. When the worst of it blew over, I kissed my daughter on her head and told her she could again find me back at my computer, working. Avoiding the blessing.

Apparently it was a blessing seen for miles and miles. Vivid in splendor. Spanning the rain-drenched skies with it’s reminder of God’s promises.  All of the Facebook posts of it’s beauty were envy provoking. Taunting like a school-yard game.

I missed the rainbow.

The sky outside seemed perfect for one.  Through my open blinds I even said to myself, “I’ll bet there’s a rainbow somewhere right now.” But I chose to keep on working.  I chose to keep my head down and ignore the reminder that God is awe inspiring and the producer of all beautiful things.  I chose to remove myself from the pleasures of the promise. A promise that God is always good and faithful, even through the storm.

It makes me wonder how many other times I have done that.  How many other times have I ignored God’s prompting for Him to show me something glorious and I chose to remain in the mundane? All I needed to do was go outside my little box of a house.  All I needed to do was stretch my legs a little and I would have been left speechless by my Creator.

My heart aches to think of the times I have ignored Him when all He wanted to do was bless me.

Oh, how I pray to always be aware of You, Lord! May Your glory span the heavens and reach down to touch me on the shoulder and whisper in my ear;

“Child, come and see the beauty that I have in store for you today!”

And may I never again miss the rainbow.

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Some Thoughts About the End


When I pulled into the driveway after dropping her older sister off at Kindergarten for her first day of school and stopped the car, she said with such a precious pout, “I miss Abby too much!” My youngest daughter, Lucy, was barely two-years old. I scooped her up into my arms and we went inside to cuddle and miss her sister.

That was over nine years ago when she was barely two years old. I remember such sorrow on her face as she realized she’d be alone all day without a playmate. I remember how the day seemed to stretch forever. Six hours. The longest the two of them had ever been separated. The longest the two of us had ever been separated.

We passed the time with cuddles, books and a little Barney. I don’t remember much more about that day other than how long it seemed that we had to wait to be able to reunite with my oldest child. I couldn’t wait to hear all about her first day.  Did she like her teacher? Did she meet any new friends? What did she do? What did she eat? Did she play outside?

It was like waiting for molasses.

And then I blinked.

Today that sweet 2-year-old missing her sister on her first day of Kindergarten graduated from elementary school. Nine years of science fair projects, forgotten homework, math assignments and field trip forms passed by faster than the first 6 hours of their elementary school lives. It’s amazing how you don’t see it happening while you’re in the middle of it, but when it’s over you are flooded with memories too many to count.

She kept finding my gaze today as I sat there in the assembly and watching her spread her little wings. She wanted me to cry, because let’s face it, that is something I am really good at. And she thinks it means I love her if I do.  But I couldn’t.  Not while watching her laugh with her friends and stand up to be recognized for all she has been able to accomplish since the first day we walked through those doors 9 years ago and we started this journey. How can a mother cry when she sees her child so happy, well-rounded and blessed?

Because it’s not really the end at all. It’s just a chapter in her life. And she’s just been handed the pen to write the next one.

Lucy after her 5th grade graduation
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A Description of What It Felt Like When I Wandered




The sound of sirens screamed above my head warning me that something dreadful was approaching. Like many times before, I walked along a narrow path in the wood. There were no signs of a storm. No wind. No dark clouds billowing in the distance.  The sun, warm and yellow, filtered through the trees.

“Probably just a test,”  I said aloud to the peace in front of me.  There was no one in my way. I was carefree and glad to be wandering on my own. The birds dashed, dived and called to one another overhead. The flowers seemed to radiate colors never seen before. It was an exquisite afternoon and I was drawing in every quiet moment.

“There is no way there’s a storm coming. Not when the sky is immeasurable blue.”

I ignored the warning and continued on my way.  If I had really been in danger I thought it would have been obvious. The sirens would have kept going or rain would have begun to fall. But the noise calmed itself and seemed to fold away, and with it any thoughts I might have had of being harmed.

And that’s when I saw it. Like something out of storybooks a different and more alluring path was suddenly revealed to me. In all my years of following this same path never had I noticed the tiny segue tucked under the vines and underbrush. I stopped and looked around to see if there was anyone else who noticed this sudden revelation. This secret garden filled with enchantment. But it seemed as though it was just for me.

A wave of excitement took me over. It was something that looked so inviting and promised to offer adventure that my usual way never had. I was full of curiosity and time seemed to stretch like a sleepy cat, so I chose to wander away from the things I knew. I told myself I wouldn’t stray for too long. I’d just walk a little ways down the path and turn back to my familiar surroundings in a few minutes.  I just had to see if I could find something better heading a different way. I took a deep breath and began my journey down a path that lead to anywhere. It felt so good. It felt like an adventure. Doing something different than what I have always done. Going a different way. There was no telling what I might find!

It seemed to smell sweeter. The earth dark and fresh with life. It felt soft beneath my feet. Comfortable. New. I was alone but felt like the whole world needed me to do this. The whole world needed me to discover promises of something better.

Suddenly, a cool breeze rustled through the canopy of branches and gathered around my shoulders. I shivered at the dramatic change in temperature and thought it would be best if I turned around to head back to my old faithful path. But I could see a clearing up ahead and I let the temptation of the rush of freedom under an open sky overwhelm me. So, I walked even farther down the unfamiliar path. Twisting and turning my way into satiated oblivion.

High on exploration, suddenly I stopped dead in my tracks.  An eery darkness fell and I could feel something lurking. Something so perfectly intriguing. Something obscure. Something heavy and powerful. Magnetic and inhuman. Something was watching me.

I wasn’t alone.

Rolls of thunder began to call in the distance begging me to turn back. I looked over my shoulder to see how far I had walked down this unmarked road and my stomach lurched. It was dark behind me like a curtain had been pulled. A veil shielding any light that may have once been there. Panic shot up my veins when I realized I had wandered too far.

I was lost.

What I had thought was a path was simply a fabrication in my mind. All of it’s beauty and allure suddenly vanished and I couldn’t believe I walked that far and never realized there was nothing special about it at all. I felt empty and foolish. Hopeless. There was nothing to show me where I had come from. Nothing to indicate how to get back to what I knew was safe and would lead me home. Fear sped through my spirit like a freight train. I didn’t know where to go, or which way to turn. Frantic and scared I began to run back in the direction where I thought I had come.

Straight into the storm I had denied was building.

I kept running blind just hoping that whatever force that had been minding my steps was not continuing to follow my every move. I knew I was wrong to have wandered off the road marked before me and I was desperate to be back on that path. I didn’t care what it took to get me there, but I didn’t know where to turn and there was no one around to help me. The distress over my isolation crashed with the streaks of lightening in the sky.

There was nothing left for me to do but to fall to my knees and endure the heartache of weathering a storm. I cried out for someone, anyone to save me. I begged for shelter and mercy from the unrelenting rain. Wind tore through me and I feared it would rip me apart. Lightening struck a tree and firey fingers fell around me like darts. It looked like a war zone. It felt like an attack. Angry at myself for not heading the warnings. In disbelief that I had allowed something to pull me away from my straight and narrow path I yelled through the unforgiving downpour.

“Lord, save me! Fight this storm for me, Lord! Forgive me for my wandering and rescue me from myself!”

You won’t believe me when I tell you but all of it is true. My sweet savior came to me immediately and quieted the storm swirling around me. He lifted me out of my own muck and mire and set me down on dry ground among the path marked out just for me. He took my hand in his and said, “My child, I have heard you. Now come. Follow me.”

With tears streaming down my face and my heart bursting with gratitude I looked at him and said:

“Lead the way.”

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The Warning Signs of Motherhood

Mom with Daughters

They warned me. I have no one to blame but myself for this.

They may not have been able to warn me about the time my 3-year-old pitched a fit so enormous it woke the entire childcare center at naptime. As if suddenly possessed with a burning passion for furry monsters, she screamed and kicked all the way down the endless hallway over my old Elmo doll.  It was mine from my high school days and she never paid any attention to it. Until I started a new teaching job and tried to leave it for other children to play with. They don’t warn you when you’re snuggled in a hospital bed with your sweet cooing baby how they will one day be the cause of your life’s most embarrassing moments.

And they never mentioned the amount of patience it would take to help my 1st grader with her homework as she struggled with undiagnosed ADD.  The agony and frustration we both felt while my six-year-old would spend hours at our kitchen table just trying to do one ‘simple’ worksheet. She’d have to turn the neighbor kids away when they came to the door to play because she was still doing her homework. How could someone so smart struggle so much with school work? No one warns you of the feelings of inadequacy and concern when you can’t teach your own child but you can command a room full of three-year olds. “She’s so smart,” they’d say. “She’s got a bright future!” They don’t tell you about the times when the house falls silent and all those doubts begin to creep into your mind. Any confident strides you may have made that very afternoon with time managing the homework demons sink deep with sorrowful sighs into your pillow.

But this? Seems even strangers warned me about this:

“They grow up so fast.”

But when you’re in the trenches it’s hard to see the horizon.

“Don’t blink. Before you know it they’ll be grown and gone.”

It’s hard to hear that over your kicking, screaming, Elmo-obsessed three-year-old.

“Cherish the time you have with them now. Soon they won’t want anything to do with you.”

Somehow cherishing doesn’t seem to fit in the same realm as crying over 1st grade math.

And yet here I am wishing I had listened to them.

Both of my girls have milestones this Spring.  I am not sure how I missed this when I signed up to be their mom. Abby Faith finishes middle school, and Lucy will be spreading her wings and flying from the safety of her elementary school nest. This year they stacked the deck against me. I should have seen it coming.

They warned me after all.

I find myself weeping over the most common of scenarios. Like when my tiny baby girl forgets her English book after school. And this time she doesn’t need me to go with her back into the school to get it. I literally sobbed in the car while I waited for her to return. She looked so grown up! But I wiped my tears and gathered my composure before she returned. She wouldn’t understand. And if I warned her now about how this whole Mothering gig goes down, she wouldn’t listen. Just like her mom.

Or when my sweetest baby-faced child suddenly wants to trade in her Disney princess dress-up dress and go shopping for a dress to wear to her school semi-formal dance I lock myself in the bathroom for several minutes and just pray for time to stand still. Tomorrow she’ll ask to go shopping for a wedding dress. That will be an entire tear-stained blog post in itself!

Some days I feel like I just won’t make it. Some days I just feel like it’s not fair at all the way this life works. You pour every ounce of love from the very essence of yourself into someone just to give them away. And you pray that whomever you give them to will love them as much as you do or more.  I want to believe that’s true. There’s got to be some hope in that. But, I really don’t think there’s any love deeper, stronger or more poignant than that of a mother for her child. We loved them first after all. Before a name, a face and a birthday. We loved them first.

So excuse me if I get emotional over high school registration forms and 5th grade ceremonies. Because the time I have with them to do their hair and talk about boys will one day come to an end.

But my love for them goes on forever.






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Seasons: Trusting The Process


“Is it just me or does Summer seem like it’s taking forever to get here?”  I said this aloud to myself as if I actually expected an answer.

I love Summer! I love the long days. The heat. And the sound of children laughing as they play outside. I love bare feet. Swimming. I love popscicles and sticky fingers. Ice cold glasses of lemonade. Ahhh.

I love eating outside every night and the fragrance of the grill. And lazy afternoons reading on the porch. I love the magic of lightening bugs and the cadence of cicadas screaming through the trees. I even love how down here in the South the air is so heavy sometimes it feels like a cloak. I know I am in the minority with that one.

Living in Alabama most of my life I’ve been spoiled. My favorite season always seems to last the longest of them all, usually showing up the end of March and fighting to hold on till the very end of September. The heat is always the first to show up and always the last to go. But this year, it seems as though it’s been cooler longer than normal. I’m still hanging on to my sweatshirt.

So when I asked myself that question I didn’t really expect an answer. But, I should know that I am never alone and Jesus can whisper at anytime.

“Why do you always do that? Wish your seasons away? Why don’t you ever stop and enjoy the season you are in right now?”

Ok, so those were more questions than they were an answer.

I didn’t have an answer for Him at all. I just shrugged and pulled my blanket up higher around my shoulders.


I don’t know why I always seem to rush away the spaces I’m in. I have yet to figure out why I am always in such a hurry for my girls to grow up so they can move out of the house, or so I don’t have to keep shuttling them from all their activities or friends houses. And yet, the sight of their beauty as they emerge into women makes me weep. I’m clinging to the last days of elementary school with white knuckles while wishing my eleven -year-old would just grow up and be responsible already!

I’m a paradox.

So I sat there with my blankie around my shoulders and thought of the seasons in my life. So many of them I wouldn’t want to come back around, but I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

There was the season of job loss and a brand new baby. Young-married and broke. I was far from my family and desperately lonely. But it was in that season that I turned back to Jesus and leaned on Him for the first time in years.

There was the season of a lost relationship that I cried over and suffered the heartbreak of realizing that someone I loved with all my heart would never be a part of my life. But in my weakness I found His strength to move on and find lasting godly relationships that push me and don’t hold me back.

There was the season of financial struggle from personal injury. It was so hard to be patient and wait for healing and redemption. But I found it in that season. I also found joy in how creative He is with his provision for my family.

Each one of the seasons in my life I didn’t like always turned over into something better. Something I could never have imagine for myself or my family. It was during each one of those seasons that He was refining me and all for His glory and for my benefit.

Winter must happen in order for me to appreciate Summer.

Right now I feel like I am in a season of growth through obedience. There are things I want in my life that God doesn’t seem to think is right for me. I am trying to learn to let go of those things to make room for what God has in store for me. I feel out of my comfort zone a lot these days. And I’m learning that it’s not about what I want at all. It’s all about living out His purpose for my life. And even at nearly 40 I am still unsure what that is.

I can’t see the end of the season I am in right now. And I find myself wishing it away like I do a chilly evening. I have to trust through obedience that He’s got something even better for me as this season changes. I have to trust that the stuff I think is a pain to deal with is just preparing my path to a sweet Summer day filled with laughter and joy.

Because it is.

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